To lose someone very dear to you is something that you will continue to miss for your whole life.
4 months and a week without him 💓
Seminggu dua ni rindu dia lain macam sikit. I used to ask him everything. Up until now, he was the first person I reached for. Setiap kali terlintas soalan dalam kepala, first thing that come with it is I reach my phone, type his number and halfway "what's wrong with you aini? You need to think and resolve things by yourself now. He's not here to talk to you".
Hahahaha. I still act like a little girl when I am with my dad. I miss to hold the end of his shirt when walking around, I miss to hear him say "ok aloh", I miss to ask him to buy me burger & nasi lauk daging, I miss to ask him "ayoh, esok kita gi cameron nok?", I miss to ask him "ayoh nok gi make satay ko harini?", I miss to hear him say "umi tokse kecek doh tu wi ko org lain kecek tu" when I called home.
To think of I had him only for 25 years and was a very short time, then how my younger siblings would feel about it, they had him for a shorter time than me. I should be thankful to all the time he spent with me, to every question he responded, to everything he gave me.
Parents were the one you can never replaced. Only a pair, for now & the hereafter.
I once dream of him and he said, and in the dream I was crying asking him to help me make decision because I was confused and of course dont know what to do, "kakak anak ayoh, kakak besar doh, kakak kena belajar buat pilihan & keputusan sendiri dah loni. Ayoh takdok doh nok tolong buat keputusan ko kakak". That day I was having a hard time making a decision and was crying until I fall asleep. (Haha I know I am such a crybaby ðŸ¤) Someday I would feel sorry to everyone as I can not do as much as my dad. I had my reasons for some of them and I am pretty sure no one would ever want to hear what they are.
#1130pmThursday19Sept19
